Frequently asked questions

AsktheX gathers honest perspectives from people in your past (former friends, coworkers, bosses, roommates, teammates and partners) and turns them into a story you approve. People change. EXperience stays. We plan our future by learning from our past.

An X is anyone from your past who knew you in a specific role: an ex-friend, ex-coworker, ex-boss, ex-roommate, ex-teammate or ex-partner. Each relationship gets questions made for it.

Adults 18 and older, everywhere. We confirm your date of birth when you create a profile, and it’s never shown to anyone.

No. There’s no search and no directory, and search engines can’t index profiles or books. Only people you send your private link to can open it, and they only see books you’ve approved and shared.

A short survey that takes about 3 minutes:

• 8 character questions, the same for everyone: honesty, reliability, respect, calm under pressure, owning mistakes, generosity, good company and openness.
• 4–6 questions about the role you shared, chosen by relationship.
• Each is rated Never · Rarely · Sometimes · Often · Always, or Can’t say if they never saw it.
• One or two yes/no questions, like “Would you recommend them as an employee?” and “Would you hire them again?”
• An optional note in their own words, up to 1,000 characters.

You can see the exact questions before you send an invite.

No. Everyone answers the same researched questions, so every book is fair, comparable and safe. It’s based on validated personality research and structured reference-check practice. You can add a personal message to your invite.

AsktheX writes it from your X’s ratings, using our own fixed, approved wording, so no two books read alike but nothing is invented. Low ratings appear only as gentle “room to grow.” A “No” on the recommendation is never written in; that line is simply left out. Their note is quoted exactly as written.

No. Every response comes to you privately first, with the story and every individual rating. Approve it and it becomes a book you can share. Seal it and it stays private to you. You can also reply, report or delete it, always for free.

60 days. You can revoke an unanswered invite anytime from Invites. On the Free plan, revoking an unused invite gives it back.

Someone from your past asked for your honest perspective. If you don’t know them, ignore it. Nothing happens and the link expires.

Yes, a free one, so every answer comes from a real person. Sign up with email, phone or a connected account. Your contact details are never shown to the person who invited you, or to anyone else.

Yes, to viewers. The person you’re answering for sees your name, but people they share the book with don’t. AsktheX always knows who you are, for safety.

Yes. Decline from the invite page and they only see that it was declined.

• Email verified: the X answered from the exact email address they were invited at.
• Signed-in account: the X signed in to a real AsktheX account to answer.
• Verified with LinkedIn / Google / Facebook: the profile owner connected that account. Only the badge shows, never a link or handle. Owners can hide these badges.

Badges only ever show what was actually verified.

Every approved book shows its overall tone in the blue box on its cover:

• + Positive: they’d recommend the person, and ratings average around “Often” or higher.
• = Mixed: a balanced view.
• − Growth: they wouldn’t recommend, or ratings were mostly low. The person chose to share it anyway, lessons and all.

Marks only ever appear on books the person approved. Nothing about an unapproved or sealed response is ever shown.

Stars show how open someone has been to feedback, never how flattering it was. Points come from:

• Each approved book: +10 (plus +5 if email verified)
• Each different kind of relationship with a book: +15
• Each answered invite, even one they sealed: +3
• Each connected LinkedIn, Google or Facebook account: +5

Stars come at 10, 30, 60, 100 and 150 points. Five stars also needs books from at least three kinds of relationships. Ratings never count.

A write-up lets you write about someone from your past, even if they’re not on AsktheX yet. You answer the same survey and can add a note. We send it to them privately by email. Only they can read it.

Approve it (it becomes the first book on their own free profile), ask you to change something, or decline it, which deletes it. If they don’t respond in 30 days, it’s deleted. A declined write-up is never posted anywhere.

Harassment, threats, private details about anyone’s health, sex life, finances or criminal history, contact information, or anything you know is untrue. See the Content Policy.

Yes. Open any response and choose Block this person. They won’t be able to answer any of your future invites. You can still seal or delete what they already wrote.

Use the Report link on any response, book or profile. Reports are confidential and reviewed by our moderation team.

Yes, anytime from Settings. You can download everything first. Deleting your account removes your profile, invites, responses about you and books, and cancels any subscription.

Free includes 1 invite and 1 shared book. Pro is $7/month for unlimited invites and shared books, and you can cancel anytime. On Free, books you approve after your first are kept, but hidden until you upgrade or unshare another. See Pricing.

For a one-time $11 per invite, on Free or Pro, your X is also asked to record a video of up to 60 seconds answering one question: what the next person in your life should know about you. It’s optional for them. You review it privately, and it’s only shown in the book if you approve. If they don’t record one, email support@askthex.com for a full refund.

Never. Sealing, deleting, reporting and blocking are always free, and payments never override anyone’s privacy choices.